See you there!

Hosea & Gomer
John Piper—December 23, 1990

The old man and his wife sat by
The winter fire and looked out high
Above the plains of Ephraim,
And saw around the last regime
Of Israel the shadows snake
Their way from east to west and take
Possession of Samaria.
“How long until Assyria,’
They thought, “would break Hoshea’s rod,
And violate the wife of God?”

But strange as it may seem, the doom
They saw across the land left room
For hope. And when they looked into
Each other’s eyes, as they would do
At night, they knew, as none could know
But they, that God would bend his bow
Against the charms of foreign men,
And take his faithless wife again.
They knew it could and would be done,
As surely as the rising sun
Drives darkness back unerringly,
And drowns it in the western sea.
They knew, because they had rehearsed
The tragedy and played it first
Themselves with passion and deceit.

“It’s true that life is far more sweet,”
Hosea thought, “when it is lost,
Then bought again at dreadful cost;
And love grows strong when it must wait,
And deep when it is almost hate.”

Such things as these he often said
To Gomer as they watched the red
And crimson echoes of the sky
Descend Mount Tabor’s cliffs and die
In darkness far below. And she
Would say to him, “Your love for me
Was like a mountain waterfall,
And I the jagged stone. Of all
The knives and hammers once applied
None made me smooth or clean. They tried,
But harlotry was in my blood,
Until your love became a flood
Cascading over my crude life
And kept me as your only wife.”

They knew as none but they could know
What it would mean that long ago
The Lord allowed his love to swell,
And married faithless Israel.

The passing of the years now found
The children grown and gathered ’round
This night: Jezreel and Loammi,
Hosea’s sons, and at his knee
Loruhamah. The room was sweet
With memories, and each replete
With pleasure and with ample pain.
Among the memories one main
Experience above the rest
Embraced them all. It was the best;
Indeed it was the mountain spring
Of every happy stream from which
The family ever drank, and rich
With hope. It was Hosea’s love.
The children stood in wonder of
The way he loved, and Gomer too.
But this had not always been true.

Hosea used to say, “It’s hard
To be a seer, and prophet bard.
The price is high when he must sing
A song of ruin over everything
In lyrics written with his life
And lose his children and his wife.”

And so it was, Hosea heard
The Lord. It was the strangest word
A holy prophet ever got:
And every pointed precept shot
Like arrows at Hosea’s life:
“Go take a harlot for your wife,”
Thus says the Lord, “And feel with me
The grief and pain of harlotry.
Her father’s name is Diblaim;
He makes fertility with cream
And raisin cakes. He will not see
Her go without a price, for she
Has brought him profits from her trade.
Now go, and let her price be paid;
And bring her back and let her bear
Your son. Call him Jezreel. For there
Is coming soon a day when I
Will strike and break the bloody thigh
Of Jehu’s brutal house, and seal
With blood the valley of Jezreel.

And after that, though she’s defiled.
Go in, and get another child,
And make your tender face like rock.
Call her Loruahmah and lock
Your heart against all sympathy:
`Not pitied’ is her name. No plea
From faithless Israel will wake
My sympathy till I forsake
My daughter in the wilderness.

Now multiply once more distress:
Hosea, go beget a son,
For there is yet one child to shun,
And call him Loammi, in shame,
For `Not My People’ is his name.”

Hosea used to walk along
The Jordan rim and sing the song
His father Beeri used to sing.
Sometimes the tune and truth would bring
Him peace, and he would pause and look
At all the turns the Jordan took,
To make its way down to the sea,
And he would chant from memory:

Think not, my son, that God’s great river
Of love flows simply to the sea,
He aims not straight, but to deliver
The wayward soul like you and me.
Follow the current where it goes,
With love and grace it ever flows.

The years went by, the children grew,
The river bent and Gomer knew
A dozen men. And finally
She left and traveled to the sea,
And sold herself to foreign priests
Who made the children serve at feasts
Until they had no shame.
And then
The God of grace came down again,
And said, “Hosea, go, embrace
Your wife beside the sea. And place
Your hand with blessing on the head
Of Loammi, and raise the dead
Loruhamah to life in me,
And tell Jezreel that I will be
For him a seed of hope to sow
In righteousness. Hosea, go,
The gracious river bends once more.”

And so the prophet loved these four
Again, and sought them by the sea,
And bought them with the equity
Of everything he owned.
That was
The memory tonight, because
Hosea loved beyond the way
Of mortal man. What man would say,
“Love grows more strong when it must wait,
And deeper when it’s almost hate.”

Jezreel spoke softly for the rest,
“Father, once more let us be blessed.
What were the words from long ago
That gave you strength to love us so?
Would you please bless us with your rhyme,
And sing it for us one more time?”

“Think not, my son, that God’s great river
Of love flows simply to the sea,
He aims not straight, but to deliver
The wayward soul like you and me.
Follow the current where it goes.
With love and grace it ever flows.”

“And children,” Gomer said with tears,
“Mark this, the miracle of years.”
She looked Hosea in the face
And said, “Hosea, man of grace,
Dark harlotry was in my blood,
Until your love became a flood
Cascading over my crude life
And kept me as your only wife.
I love the very ground you trod,
And most of all I love your God.”

© Desiring God

God is so good to me. I have a new life verse, which has become dearer and dearer to me ever since I graduated. For every person its different, I know, but I think single girls should live on their own for a bit out of college—because its one of the most frightening yet growing experiences you could imagine—and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Philippians 4:19 says: “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” I’ve been reminded of the preciousness of this verse over and over again—particularly when I make trips to the bank….My roommate and I were discussing it the other day and I told her, “We often talk about framing trophies of God’s goodness and grace. One of these days I’m going to frame bank statements and receipts with a few dates underlined in red, so I can point to those and say, ‘Look what God did!’”

Of course, you could add grocery lists to the collage as well. What is it David says in Psalm 37:25? “I’ve never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” How many times have I seen that come true? The week I have three meals left and get invited somewhere for dinner the night before that pay-check hits the bank. Or the sweet woman I work for makes me a batch of breakfast muffins which means the granola bars can be used for breakfast next week.

Of course then there’s the amazing blessing of my living situation. A studio apartment with amazing landlords who provide security and support, but are amazing at giving tenants their own space. I can come in at any hour of the night (there have been more than one occasion I popped in at four am), but I’m in a secluded back neighborhood and it doesn’t harm a soul….Neither do I have to worry about security issues, which for my nightlife, is sort of necessary!

God has also blessed me amazingly, in my social realm. I have to admit, my circles have changed dramatically since I graduated, which I didn’t really expect. It threw me for a hard loop and I’ve had to learn some things the hard way, but once again, God has shown Himself faithful and given me people who love me unconditionally, who believe in the work God is doing in my life, and who are committed to helping me grow and change more into His image. More than one person has told me recently, “Jess, you have an amazing support group—your friends actually care for you that much? People don’t love like that!” All I can answer is, “You don’t know my friends…” (You know who you are—thank you!) Even when I was in a very unlovable state, there were still those who reached out to me and never gave up praying for me, and welcomed a very wandering sheep home!

As if that wasn’t enough, God has put some amazing mentors in my life. I still crash professors offices for counseling sessions, for intellectual questions, or just to talk about my life. They are truly my family away from family and it doesn’t matter where I go or what I do, I know they are there, reaching out to me, supporting me, and loving me. Not to mention, I have found some older women, both in my church and work to mentor. I consider it one of my greatest blessings….To know there are women who take the time to speak into my life and help me think through things, yet allow me to be the young person who is learning…I’m speechless.

Finally, on a personal level—I echo the psalmist who speaks of “the joy of my salvation”. I have, since graduation, come to understand what that means in an entirely new way. It is a peace and contentment that comes from knowing my God and Savior personally—not because its what I’m getting taught day in and day out, not because its what my professors are telling me, not because its what we’re discussing in a small group, but because His Holy Spirit actually lives inside of me, guiding me, restoring me, and teaching me His way through His Word. This is truly the greatest blessing I have been given—for which I praise Him. To God be the glory!

Anyways…it’s bedtime now, but I’ll be back…Publishing the thoughts of a very random, hyper-active, intellectual, philisophical mind, saved by grace and loved of God.

Flustered and broken

Confused and dismayed

Wondering what is happening

What do I say?

Can’t you see trust has been shattered

Not built up again?

I don’t know where to go, what to think about

Or how to start processing it all…

You can’t see the real me

But you insist everything’s the same

I don’t’ know if you’ll ever know

Or if we’ll part—

Strangers who were once friends

One of us knowing the truth…

The other absolutely clueless

Jessica Hughes

April 12, 2008

The insecure & wounded girl whose really me

I can’t show the real—for fear of what they’ll say

But sometime my mask accidentally falls—like today

Underneath is one lost child–so scared and so confused

Underneath are ugly scars–of one whose been abused

Please love me enough—to care and ask

Love me enough–to take off my mask

Wash and anoint the wounds on my face

With the healing power of love and grace

So when I am with you, I don’t have to wear

This fake mould which causes my face to tear

The real me is not polished, smooth, & cold

The real me doesn’t look young, but rather old

Yet all the real me longs for, is for you to see

Who I really am if you’ll just set me free!

Jessica Hughes

March 30, 2008

“Come here my child, and sit on My knee

You are weary, worn, and sore

Life has become such a tiresome chore

Yet I am here—offering my embrace

Come and hide your tear-stained face

Grab hold of Me for what you need
Upon My words & truths daily feed

For I am your Father—you belong to me
I am the only One who can truly make you free

My child—call to Me and you will find a sweet release
Become lost in the embrace of your Prince of Peace

Rest in My plan and what I will do

To make Myself fully known to you.

 Jessica Hughes
March 29, 2008

This is just downright sad to me.  Not because I think a woman is necessarily sinning [yes, I used that word] by choosing a job over her children.  But what is so sad is in this discussion what is never talked about are the children!   I was the babysitter 3 days a week for most of my summer jobs when I was a teenager.  I worked with children of 9-5 job moms and it was downright heartbreaking.  What these children really wanted was attention from their mother, which is a natural instinct [God-given no less].   They would get some attention when she came home by misbehaving [and she'd get mad and scold, but they still got the attention], when they had been good as gold for me.  Other times, they weren’t as good as gold for me–[like the time the twins argued non-stop in a hot car in the back seat] but I couldn’t deal with it, because I wasn’t the adult.  How on earth does a 17 year old girl help an 11 year old girl struggling with a proper understanding of responsibility?  I certainly don’t think that at 17 I could model that for her perfectly.  But what do I say, “Oh, watch how your mom does it” when her mother didn’t pay her proper attention?
  The time that really broke my heart, however, was the day I sat on the couch with my arm around one child, while I could hear her sister laughing in the back room with a “friend” over the latest piece of gossip–about the girl who was crying on my shoulder.  Mom knew nothing of what was going on.  It was that day, while sitting there with clenched teeth I made a vow [and a prayer] never to let my children suffer from the hands of other children because I was unaware.  The perpatrator and the wounded both needed help.  Big help.  Only help that a mother could give.  I’ve  never felt so helpless.

Please, mothers, remember your children!  I’ve seen them left with a sitter (I was that sitter) and I know the toll it takes on them and the suffer in silence.  You have no idea how much they really long for you.  I’ve seen it one too many times, not to listen to their cries–cries for love from their mother!

In Partial Fulfillment of:

Studies in Class Film Course

Instructor: Grant Horner

 Introduction:

Everyone has heard the statement that “truth is stranger than fiction”.   But what is really most frightening is when truth and fiction coincide until both are so blended that it is almost impossible to tell where the truth stops and fiction begins.  Such is certainly the case with one of America’s most beloved musical stars—Judy Garland.  This remarkable young woman used her music to tell the world who she was and what was important to her.  What seems oddly prophetic however is how closely how the different era of films which Judy starred in, seemed to mirror Judy’s personal life.  The object of this paper is to draw a correlation between some of the most well known films which Judy Garland produced and events in her personal life.

* * * * * * * *

Birth & Childhood

   Francis Gumm was the third child of Francis & Ethel Gumm born on June 10^th, 1922 in Grand Rapids Michigan.  Mr. & Mrs. Gumm were vaudeville performers by trade and shortly after Baby Gumm was born, they chose to take a family show business on the road.  At age two, Francis was already on stage, doing performances and falling in love with the applause of her audiences a desire which was to remain with her throughout the rest of her life.  Soon Francis’ parents set her performing shows with her sisters—though it became obvious very, very quickly that baby Gumm was the audience’s favorite and had the strongest voice of the three. This girl had talent.  Shortly thereafter, Mrs. Gumm made friends with some individuals in the upper eishalons of music and cinema-graphic fame who helped her get countless auditions with various studios.  Through the influences of some of these film/theatrical greats, Francis was persuaded to change her name.  Already, the Gumm sisters had changed their last name to Garland because it was connected to some famous musician and so caught people’s attention.  Francis changed her first name to Judy—and the famous Judy Garland was born. 

 Father

  In some senses, Judy had become one of the primary bread-winners of her family.  It was well known that Francis’ father was a practicing homosexual (not just one wacked out liberal biographer claims this either) as well as fighting some serious health problems, which meant his income for the family was at a minimum.  But to Judy, that didn’t really matter.  For Judy, her father was the refuge and protector whom any young girl needs and longs for.  In her mind, father was both parents for Judy—as long as he was around, somehow everything would be alright.  But tragically, this could not be a reality for Judy because Mr. Frank Gumm died of spinal meningitis on November 17, 1935—the year that his little Francis was gaining national attention and the year she changed her name to Judy Garland and the year she became a teenager.  The adoring father lay in his hospital bed the night before his death, listening to her perform “Zing Went the Strings of my Heart”—the very song she had sung when Mr. Gumm took Judy over the M-G-M studio for an audition. 

  The one person who adored Judy, the one man who took care of her and was willing to fight for her, was permanently gone from her life.  It was a loss which Judy was never able to come to terms with—partially because her bosses and ever her mother would not allow it.  She had to keep going on her rigorous schedule—it was a sad thing, but a fact of life which she just needed to get over and keep going with life.  But this lost was also horrible for Judy because she knew she lost the one person who was on her side—and was now left alone to face her mother.     

 Mother

 Judy knew that her parents were quite disappointed that she hadn’t been born a boy, who was to be named after his father, Frank Gumm.  After all, they already had two girls, now there had to be someone to carry on the family name and reputation.  In any case, not being a boy was something Judy always saw as a reason for her parents (particularly her mother’s) lack of love for her.  During a television interview in which Judy described her relationship with her parents, the singer stated in no uncertain terms that, “I adored my father and he adored me.  But I hated my mother.  I honestly hated her.”[1]   Judy’s mother was, by all accounts, and even Judy’s own words, “the classic stage mother” most definitely not a complement.  Stage mothers were known to be ruthless to their children—to make the famous performer they were supposed to be and of course they always longed to be.  At one point Judy made the observation that Ethel did not have any talent of her own and was insanely jealous of her daughter so she actually used Judy to get the fame and the money which she never had.

  One of the ways Mrs. Gumm made Judy’s life miserable was constantly being on her case over what she ate while at home (no exceptions) how much sleep she had (or didn’t have if practices were required), and she regulated Judy’s social life and the list of her associates like a Nazi.  For Judy, home was never a place of peace.  Home was a play which she longed to escape from—because you never knew what mother would be about, and mother could be even worse than the studio itself.  If mother was upset at her for something, Mr. Mayer was sure to hear something about and vice versa.  At least in Mother Gumm’s eyes, Mr. Mayer had become Judy’s father and she would answer to him as such.

Judy’s dislike of her mother only increased exponentially when her mother remarried to mention on the anniversary of her deceased husband’s (Judy’s father) death.  She was never very fond of the man to begin with, but the day Mrs. Gumm chose to marry him, was something Judy never could get over and she sought desperately to find an excuse to move out of her mother’s house.

 Stage Parent

  It goes without saying that the head of M-G-M studios, Mr. Meyer and Ethel Gumm worked together to make Judy a star—both for personal gain.  Both loved the way Judy raked in the cash (of course she herself was far too young to control her own assets).  Of course the best way to keep a famous person popular is to pair them with another famous person, so it was only a matter of time until Judy was paired with other well-known stars such as Mickey Rooney.  Of all the constructed pairs, for about four years, Judy & Mickey were M-G-M’s favorite tinsel couple, making films such as Love Finds Andy Hardy, and Listen Darling.  Fortunately for Judy, Mickey Rooney was one of her favorite people to work with.  Their relationship was a true friendship and they both loved working and going to school.  Mickey Rooney was quick to what he could to help and support Judy through her ups and downs.

Of course during this time Judy kept being told she was too fat, her nose was wrong, she couldn’t really sing, she had to keep trying harder.  She had to keep going, and going, and going—and it was taking its toll on her already, though no one but Judy knew it at the time.  Finally one day—when Mickey had been officially teamed with another young actress (one of Hollywood’s sexy young stars) Judy’s real break hit.  Judy Garland learned the news that she had been selected for the role that would catapult her into stardom—the role for which the world remembers her, the role of a darling little girl from Kansas searching to get over the rainbow, Judy Garland became Dorothy Gale. 

 Youth Career—The Wizard of Oz

In 1933, M-G-M aquired the rights for Frank L. Baum’s children’s classic, The Wizard of Oz.  Shirley Temple was originally chosen for the part, but Fox studios would not loan her to M-G-M for the role.  The other actress who was also being considered could not be spared from the other picture she was shooting.  So, in desperation the directors and producers looked around M-G-M for a child star, and chose to use their greatest female vocalist of the time—Judy Garland. 

  Who can forget the sweet naïve face of Judy Garland in Wizard of Oz?  She is America’s quintessential child who wants to escape the boredom and the triviality of mundane “home-life”.  Dorothy, like Judy, was searching for someone who really loved and cared for her.  After getting hit on the head during a tornado, Dorothy and her little dog, Toto, land over the rainbow—in the magical world of Oz.  While there, Dorothy realized that as beautiful other places can be all she really wanted was to go home to the family which she realized really did love her.  Mervin LeRoy and Victor Flemming chose to spare no expense to tell the story in all the magic which is captured in the novel.  This, of course, meant that the personality and look of “Dorothy” had to be absolutely perfect for the part.  It’s quite pathetic when you hear about the numerous costumes, wigs, outfits, which were used to try and created the character of Dorothy.  If one thing wasn’t right then it was something else.  The beauticians poked, prodded, tweaked, sewed, and fussed—all to make a perfect little Dorothy.  Because Miss Garland was sixteen and she was already growing into a mature young lady, it was decided that her chest was far too big for the character of Dorothy, and it needed to be tamed.  The way that was done, was by having her breasts bound—with breath-restricting, skin tight material.  It reminds you of something like an old-fashioned corset, only put higher up on the woman’s frame.  

  Of course another one of the stipulations for Judy being able to play the part was of Dorothy was that she had to lose some weight.  This problem was solved two ways.  First of all, Mr. Mayer & Ethel Gumm kept ridiculously cruel restrictions on her diet.  Chicken noodle soup day after day, while all her friends were eating hamburgers, fries, and drinking soda.  The other way of solving the problem had much more devastating effects on Judy—effects which would eventually control her life.

   Addiction

  Shortly after Judy signed a contract with M-G-M, they prescribed two potentially lethal substances for her—amphetamines & dopamine. At thirteen years of age, the girl was given bottles of the medication—told to take the dopamine for energy to stay awake and curb her appetite and the amphetamines to sleep.  The dosages, (not to mention some of the actual medications) Judy was put on would actually be considered illegal today and the studios would be sued or charged with some kind of drug felony.  But no one knew that back in the 1930-40s and the question begs to be asked, even if they did know, would they have cared?  It’s also a reality that very few people realized how much or with what frequency Judy was actually taking the pills.  Her body was slowly building up an immunity to the different medications which was forcing her to try and find something else which would do the trick for her.  Of course it doesn’t help that the prescribed amounts were more like “suggestions” versus actual dosages, which really led Judy to keep feeding the addiction by adding more pills for the desired effect.  In desperation, she would try other medications or even tranquilizers to get the same effect, but again, because she was caught in the vicious cycle of not knowing the full effect of the various medications on her body or choosing to OD out of desperation.  This overdosing became worse the older Judy became.  As she became increasingly bitter towards the world and the way she believed they had cheated her and broken her trusts, she turned more frequently to the little miracle pills.  The addiction habit became something which Judy tried to hide from people because they were terribly afraid she would damage herself by how much she took, but Judy couldn’t seem to make them understand that the schedules they were forcing her to maintain and the lifestyle they demanded of her, pushed her towards the medication.

  Were there ever times Judy tried to break herself of this habit?  Yes.  Were there many times which she went to a clinic for treatment?  Yes.  What seems to be ignored is that the treatment the clinics took her through, even the ones which demanded she quit cold-turkey, would work for a time—until she was told to go back to work or forced to go back to work and pay the bills to avoid creditors.  As soon as Judy went back to show business she went back on the drugs.  It never ceased.

 Demonstrating Tensions—Meet me in St. Louis

  Movie studios are curious things. On the one hand, they seem to be delighted whenever a star who can actually hold their own appears upon the scene.  But they also want to make money, money, money, and sometimes the only way to do that is to control the actor or actresses.  Oh, the studio claims to become like a little family, because they spend so much time with one another working on various shows.  But the truth is, all are motivated by greed for money and for fame.  Thus, when there are actors or actresses who get their toes brutally stepped on—so be it.  Father Studio Director and Mother Film Director will have their way, and that’s that.  In Judy’s case, because audiences had adored Judy as a child, the studios wanted to keep her as a child—even when she was in her early twenties.  This annoyed Judy to no end and she longed for a part that would show her for who she really was.  Not the naïve little girl of Wizard of Oz, but the beautiful, mature woman who acted her age and portrayed what women of her own age experienced in life.  Judy longed to act in a drama—where everything was not so idealistic or bright and shining any longer.  Of course, M-G-M would hear nothing of the sort but when Judy read the script and then heard that the studio cast her in Meet Me in Saint Louis, Judy had a fit—a real fit. 

  It wasn’t until director Vincent Minnelli convinced Judy she could tell the story, focusing on how the young girl, Esther became a woman, Judy agreed to play the part.  Once Judy realized how close this story mirrored her autobiography, Judy threw herself into her work, though she still felt as if she was repressed and not allowed to fully act as the woman she had become.  This was M-G-M’s magnum opus film with Judy Garland.  Little did they realize that the only thing which kept her going through the production of the film was that about half-way through, Judy found herself falling in love with the director, Vincent Minnelli.  At first, they couldn’t stand each other.  They would both do things which could and or would utterly exacerbate the other sometimes on accident, sometimes maliciously.  However they finally developed a descent working relationship and when Vincent Minnelli started recognizing Judy for who she really was, she was determined to marry him, because, as she so poiniantly told a friend, “He adores me and I need to be adored.”[2]

  But on the set for Meet Me in Saint Louis Judy played as the young girl desperate to help her family survive in the city of Saint Louis, which is the home they love so much.  Judy understood that mindset clearly, since she had had been uprooted from her Minnesota home and taken out West—in her mother’s desperate search for stardom.  But it was the simple life at home which Judy really loved.  Because it was in that kind of life she was allowed to be herself.  In a way, Minnelli did this for Judy as well.  The studios and their rigorous schedules had so exhausted her that Judy desperately needed a break.  She desperately need time away from the hecticness of life and time to be a real person—not merely belong to a company or a studio.  When Vincent Minnelli chose to marry Judy and care for her, she began to flourish.  It was while on her honeymoon that Judy made one of the biggest decisions of her life—she chose to throw out those terrible pills–the pills which had consumed her life and were destroying her.  One night, while she and Vincent stood overlooking the river in New York, Judy grabbed his hand saying, “I’m done with these forever” and threw the bottle into the water, afterwards, clinging desperately to Vincent—for reassurance she would have help in her decision to knock the horrible addiction.  It worked.  Judy finally had the joy of being amother, giving birth to a daughter shortly after she and Minnelli were married.  For once, no one told Judy that she could or could not give birth to her own children!  During one of her previous affairs or marriages, Judy had become pregnant and (not surprisingly) Mrs. Gumm and insisted she abort the baby.  Judy folded under the pressure and did what her mother demanded.  But with Minnelli, Judy was allowed to have a little child to love, which she chose to look outside her selfish lifestyle.

 Intervening Years:

  Within a few years of married bliss, Minnelli chose business over his wife and convinced her that she had to go back into show business with M-G-M, a move which eventually led to Judy leaving M-G-M and this time it was permanent.  She wandered about for a time, still immensely popular with her audiences and trying to scrape together enough funds to pay her bills and live a sort of respectable lifestyle.  It was about this time that a Mr. Sidney Luft entered the scene.  Sid was a producer of B movies and a hardened drinker, he had the street-smarts.  But Sid also had a heart and he learned to love Judy Garland—for Judy Garland.  It was when Judy married Sid that she was closest to a “normal” kind of life.  One of the greatest things Sid did for Judy was allow her to perform the film of her dreams—A Star is Born.

Judy’s Film Autobiography—A Star is Born

  The story for A star is born tells about a yuoung aspiring music film star who is befriended by a drunk in the show0business who pays her so much attention that she finally marries him, despite warnings from those around her.  Their life becomes increasingly difficult as Norman (James Mason) turns more and more to his drink and Vicki (the role Judy played) has to continually support him and help him through his addiction.  She could identify herself with everyone in the script and truly felt that this was her story, directed her way, and she was finally able to be the Judy Garland she had always dreamed of.  The difference was, Vicki learned how to live with her great tragedies, Judy just ran from them.  Within Vicki Lestor, we see how desperate Judy really was to be someone famous and yet how many detours she seemed to be she seemed to be encountering during her search.  Watching the closing scene of A Star is Born makes one wish that Judy could have learned to love as deeply as her characters did.

  Though very behind schedule and chopped dramatically from its original running time (something which infuriated both Sid and Judy) Judy was nominated for an Oscar but lost it.  This occurred on the night of giving birth to her second child by Sid, her only son—Joey.  Judy was the never the same after her failure to win that Oscar.  ItThough she was still extremely popular with live audiences, her addiction to the pills was now coupled with drinking (something she learned from Sid).  Judy started falling into rages—screaming and ranting against all those who had hurt her,  After she cam after her young son, Joey, with a butcher knife, the children the children went to live with their father and Judy moved off to England.  She finally died of an accidental overdose in her home on June 22^nd, 1969.  America’s favorite female voice both on film and on stage was gone.

Bibliography:

• Life With Judy Garland: Me & My Shadows Miramax Productions DVD 2001.
• Meet me in Saint Louis M-G-M Studios DVD January 1945.
• A Star is Born Warner Bros. Pictures DVD September 1954.
• http://www.findadeath.com/Deceased/g/Garland,Judy/judy_garland.htm
• http://www.reeljewels.com/garland/
• http://www.answers.com/topic/judy-garland?cat=entertainment
• What Really Killed Judy Garland? (Parts 1-6) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VcCGc4d2C1M&feature=related
• YouTube clips of Judy’s performances